This month has been one of the hardest to date.

Every time I take a moment to breath, every time I close my eyes, every second I lay in bed... I miss him. The one thing I know I'm good at... really, really good at - I'm unable to do. All because of this thing called distance. Sometimes it's so hard to believe that I'm doing good by him, something that will benefit his future.

I want to role around and wrestle. I want to tickle him until he cries because I'm an asshole like that. I want to dress in costumes and build forts and fight imaginary bad guys. I want to play baseball and let him ride his bike around the parking lot. I want to fly kites and run in open fields. I want to help him color pictures of Ben10 for the people he loves. I want to read him books and play with all his action figures while he takes baths. I want to help him surprise Kita with his presence and watch cartoons in the early morning weekend hours. I want to go on all the adventures an adult could never dream of.



I just want to see my(our) son... I want to be his Dad every day, not just 10 days a month.

Region of 3 feet, calls me "Dad".

This weeks been hard.



I miss hims bads...

Ear Infection

Alden's Mom received a distressing call from his school letting her know that Alden wouldn't stop crying and kept complaining that his ear hurt. Luckily, she was able to get him into Dr. Parznych today. Prognosis, "raging ear infection." Poor little guy... I feel so bad for him, I hope he is ok.

These are the hardest days to justify what I'm doing and why I am not there with him. I hate this...

Emily got in today, she was able to bring some cheer to the day. We went to the gym and did cardio for about an hour and went to Constantinos for the salad bar and falafel. We are going to take it easy the rest of the night and watch This American Life. I'm happy she's here.

Viewfinder Alden

Alden was slightly upset that I didn't let him play video games today. He kept offering negotiations of future compliance in exchange for only minutes of game play. I've actively been reducing this to a weekly minimum in fear of him becoming one of "those kids..." I don't really feel it necessary to expand on that. Ha.

Since he was so upset with me I gave him a camera for the drive to the airport, as a peace offering. He loves taking photos, so it really turned out well. These few photos are some of my favorite.