Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
This month has been one of the hardest to date.
Every time I take a moment to breath, every time I close my eyes, every second I lay in bed... I miss him. The one thing I know I'm good at... really, really good at - I'm unable to do. All because of this thing called distance. Sometimes it's so hard to believe that I'm doing good by him, something that will benefit his future.
I want to role around and wrestle. I want to tickle him until he cries because I'm an asshole like that. I want to dress in costumes and build forts and fight imaginary bad guys. I want to play baseball and let him ride his bike around the parking lot. I want to fly kites and run in open fields. I want to help him color pictures of Ben10 for the people he loves. I want to read him books and play with all his action figures while he takes baths. I want to help him surprise Kita with his presence and watch cartoons in the early morning weekend hours. I want to go on all the adventures an adult could never dream of.
I just want to see my(our) son... I want to be his Dad every day, not just 10 days a month.
Every time I take a moment to breath, every time I close my eyes, every second I lay in bed... I miss him. The one thing I know I'm good at... really, really good at - I'm unable to do. All because of this thing called distance. Sometimes it's so hard to believe that I'm doing good by him, something that will benefit his future.
I want to role around and wrestle. I want to tickle him until he cries because I'm an asshole like that. I want to dress in costumes and build forts and fight imaginary bad guys. I want to play baseball and let him ride his bike around the parking lot. I want to fly kites and run in open fields. I want to help him color pictures of Ben10 for the people he loves. I want to read him books and play with all his action figures while he takes baths. I want to help him surprise Kita with his presence and watch cartoons in the early morning weekend hours. I want to go on all the adventures an adult could never dream of.
I just want to see my(our) son... I want to be his Dad every day, not just 10 days a month.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Ear Infection
Alden's Mom received a distressing call from his school letting her know that Alden wouldn't stop crying and kept complaining that his ear hurt. Luckily, she was able to get him into Dr. Parznych today. Prognosis, "raging ear infection." Poor little guy... I feel so bad for him, I hope he is ok.
These are the hardest days to justify what I'm doing and why I am not there with him. I hate this...
Emily got in today, she was able to bring some cheer to the day. We went to the gym and did cardio for about an hour and went to Constantinos for the salad bar and falafel. We are going to take it easy the rest of the night and watch This American Life. I'm happy she's here.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Viewfinder Alden
Alden was slightly upset that I didn't let him play video games today. He kept offering negotiations of future compliance in exchange for only minutes of game play. I've actively been reducing this to a weekly minimum in fear of him becoming one of "those kids..." I don't really feel it necessary to expand on that. Ha.
Since he was so upset with me I gave him a camera for the drive to the airport, as a peace offering. He loves taking photos, so it really turned out well. These few photos are some of my favorite.
Since he was so upset with me I gave him a camera for the drive to the airport, as a peace offering. He loves taking photos, so it really turned out well. These few photos are some of my favorite.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Mick Foley, get your swole on
I ran a bath for Alden and told him to get undressed. While he was doing this, I went to the other room to grab him the glass of water he so politely asked for. As I was in the other room I could hear him grunting and yelling, I ran back into the bathroom and caught him flexing in the mirror, hyping himself up for... something. Ha.
He is best.
He is best.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Do they come back alive?
It's an odd thing when a 5 year old asks you what it feels like when someone you love dies and then proceeds to ask about reincarnation. This was the bringer of all downers followed by the most intense dress up costume wearing fort building party we've ever had.
Warm it up
I was late to work today. I blame Alden. He has the tendency to take his sweet ass time in the morning. It’s due in part to his attention span when Curious George or whatever cartoon might be on the TV. It’s a friendly way to ease into the day. His concept of time constraints is lacking though, which is ok. He must get it from his Mom. Ha. So I guess in reality, I blame myself.
I made it all the way to work before I realized he was still sitting in the back seat, my mind wonders.
When we pulled into the school parking lot, I got out of the car and walked around the back to open his door as I always do. This time he pretended to be asleep when I opened his door, despite the fact we were having a conversation only seconds before. He rolled out of his seat and with half a banana in his mouth he muttered something about his tummy hurting and expressing his desire to go to work rather than school. I ignored his request and voyaged on through the doors of the pre-school.
Glancing towards the offices, the tuition box reminded me that it had been 2 months since I have given them any money. I figured since my door code was still working they must not have noticed, nor cared. Still, I decided that I would leave a check in the box before heading to work.
Usually, when Alden returns to school after being away for a while he is VERY shy. His big blue eyes and adorable little face usually melt the teachers hearts and they hold his hand and get him warmed up by taking him to different stations where he can play with his choice of toys before the other kids are allowed to touch them. By the time I return to pick him up he’s deep into socializing and has rediscovered his place.
Today was different.
Alden stopped and stared at the window into his classroom before walking in. There were two small boys, about his size, having what looked like seizures on the other side of the window. Their eyes were large and they were looking directly at Alden, screaming. AT first I hadn’t noticed but after watching them I realized they were screaming his name, over and over. “Look everybody, it’s Alden!” “Alden is back, everybody, it’s Alden!” I nudged Alden forward through the door of his classroom, where we were met by 6-7 tiny boys thrilled over the return of their long lost comrade.
I took his coat off, kissed his head and walked out of the classroom. I stood and watched through the glass as he passionately discussed such worldly topics as super heroes and the new toys he has acquired since visiting these friends last.
I miss being a kid.
I made it all the way to work before I realized he was still sitting in the back seat, my mind wonders.
When we pulled into the school parking lot, I got out of the car and walked around the back to open his door as I always do. This time he pretended to be asleep when I opened his door, despite the fact we were having a conversation only seconds before. He rolled out of his seat and with half a banana in his mouth he muttered something about his tummy hurting and expressing his desire to go to work rather than school. I ignored his request and voyaged on through the doors of the pre-school.
Glancing towards the offices, the tuition box reminded me that it had been 2 months since I have given them any money. I figured since my door code was still working they must not have noticed, nor cared. Still, I decided that I would leave a check in the box before heading to work.
Usually, when Alden returns to school after being away for a while he is VERY shy. His big blue eyes and adorable little face usually melt the teachers hearts and they hold his hand and get him warmed up by taking him to different stations where he can play with his choice of toys before the other kids are allowed to touch them. By the time I return to pick him up he’s deep into socializing and has rediscovered his place.
Today was different.
Alden stopped and stared at the window into his classroom before walking in. There were two small boys, about his size, having what looked like seizures on the other side of the window. Their eyes were large and they were looking directly at Alden, screaming. AT first I hadn’t noticed but after watching them I realized they were screaming his name, over and over. “Look everybody, it’s Alden!” “Alden is back, everybody, it’s Alden!” I nudged Alden forward through the door of his classroom, where we were met by 6-7 tiny boys thrilled over the return of their long lost comrade.
I took his coat off, kissed his head and walked out of the classroom. I stood and watched through the glass as he passionately discussed such worldly topics as super heroes and the new toys he has acquired since visiting these friends last.
I miss being a kid.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Down in the dumps
He leaves today...
We had an amazing time.
I hate this part of the month.
Eighteen days until our next visit. <3
We had an amazing time.
I hate this part of the month.
Eighteen days until our next visit. <3
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I woke up and made breakfast; scramble w/ peppers & onions, cheese cause, potatoes, pancakes (with cheesecake filler in them SOOO GOOD!), coffee & OJ. It was dope.
We got showered and took Alden to Kaleidoscope where he made a bunch of awesome stuff and possibly projectile vomited all over their hallway as we left. The worst part is that I didn't want to be held accountable so we booked it. I held him facing forward and we ran out the door as the steady steam continually spewed on the walls and floor in front. It was really sad but afterthought made it potentially hilarious. I kept thinking about all the kids who probably slipped in it. Gross.
He doesn't have a fever, it was odd. We've been eating all the same stuff and I feel fine. Hm... He's napping it off right now.
It's AMAZING outside today, it's got to be 65 degrees. I want to go walk down by the river and maybe do some urban exploring. My camera is out and wanting to be used.
We got showered and took Alden to Kaleidoscope where he made a bunch of awesome stuff and possibly projectile vomited all over their hallway as we left. The worst part is that I didn't want to be held accountable so we booked it. I held him facing forward and we ran out the door as the steady steam continually spewed on the walls and floor in front. It was really sad but afterthought made it potentially hilarious. I kept thinking about all the kids who probably slipped in it. Gross.
He doesn't have a fever, it was odd. We've been eating all the same stuff and I feel fine. Hm... He's napping it off right now.
It's AMAZING outside today, it's got to be 65 degrees. I want to go walk down by the river and maybe do some urban exploring. My camera is out and wanting to be used.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Things he says...
As he plays in the tub with Buzz and Spiderman; "you want a fight? why don't you go pick on someone that is your size and my size too?!"
"Dad, why are you not closing your eyes and going to bed?!" He wasn't even in the same room so I responded with, "I am!" He says, "Dad... then why are the lights still on. I think you're reading a book." "Go to bed!"
"If you finish all of your dinner you can have a cookie too Dad!"
"When you say that you'll think about it, it always means that you are just taking a long time to say no."
"You're squishing my peanuts!" I had no idea what he was talking about, we were having a tickle war at the moment, so I responded "your peanuts... what are you talking about?" "Dad! You're squishing my peanuts!" Ohhhhhh, you're penis!? "Yeah... you're squishing my peanuts."
Ridiculous.
"Dad, why are you not closing your eyes and going to bed?!" He wasn't even in the same room so I responded with, "I am!" He says, "Dad... then why are the lights still on. I think you're reading a book." "Go to bed!"
"If you finish all of your dinner you can have a cookie too Dad!"
"When you say that you'll think about it, it always means that you are just taking a long time to say no."
"You're squishing my peanuts!" I had no idea what he was talking about, we were having a tickle war at the moment, so I responded "your peanuts... what are you talking about?" "Dad! You're squishing my peanuts!" Ohhhhhh, you're penis!? "Yeah... you're squishing my peanuts."
Ridiculous.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
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